Last night Jay Leno challenged Paul Newman to a second great midget auto race. Leno got clobbered by Newman last year and is still smarting Lost Saucer that defeat. Leno claims that Newman jumped the gun last year. I watched the race last year and Leno is just blowing sour grape juice.
Anyway, Leno tried to humiliate Newman by first challenging him to eat some of the canned dog food produced by Newmans company. Well, it was a naturally organic product produced by a subsidiary of the company run by Paul and Joanne Woodward Newmans lovely daughter, Nell.
Leno opened the can and handed Paul Newman a spoon. Paul tasted the food and then dug right in, immensely enjoying the delicious Lamb and Rice dish. Leno had lost again.
The Newmans have produced a insurance life number of food products. The money generated by these businesses is donated to Charity. The Newmans gave one million dollars to Katrina aid.
The Newmans have donated over 100 million dollars to help children and conservation. Newman described a number of the camps for cancer-stricken children and their families around the world. The camps are called Hole in the Wall Camps and the camping experience is free.
Read Paul Newmans biography at http://tinyurl.com/qkydg.
When it was time for the second edition of the Great Midget Car Race, Leno and Newman went to the track, climbed into their cute little midget cars, and waited for the green flag. Leno was perched to win this one to overcome last years humiliation. The flag was dropped, Newman took off like a rocket, and Leno was still standing at the starting line.
Newman immediately showed his racing and driving skills. His car moved smoothly over the course, not wavering but steady as she goes.
Leno wiggle waggled all over the place and bounced off the walls.
If it had been a ten-car race Leno would have come in thirtieth.
Will Leno have the guts to race Newman next year? Probably, but it wont improve his record.
Maybe Dave Letterman should challenge Leno to a race of midget autos. The winner could then race Newman and lose again.
By the way, Dave Letterman is in the racing business. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rahal_Letterman_Racing. The team has three (3) Indianapolis Class race cars. Letterman is from Indianapolis so racing is his blood.
Leno talked to Newman about his Andy Warhol driving activities. Leno wanted to know what Joanne thought about his driving at his age.
Newman said Cotton Mather just tells her that he is going fishing with the boys.
Leno asked what he told her after he drove. Newman said, I dont tell her!
From what Newman said, she is concerned.
So tell us this, Jay: How does it feel to get clobbered by an 81-year-old man?
The End
Jay, Leno, David, Letterman, Paul Newman, Joanne Woodward, racing, race cars, midget, Hollywood, actor, movies, charity, cancer, children, conservation, Nell Newman, Hole in the Wall
John T. Jones, Ph.D. (tjbooks@hotmail.com, a retired VP of R&D for Lenox China, is author of detective & western novels, nonfiction (business, scientific, engineering, humor), poetry, etc. Former editor of joint life insurance Industry Magazine. He is Executive Representative of IWS sellers of Tyler Hicks wealth-success books and kits. He also sells TopFlight flagpoles. He calls himself "Taylor Jones, the hack writer."
More info: http://www.tjbooks.com
Business web site: http://www.aaaflagpoles.com
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